RESURRECTION
1

Spirit broken, Thade remained imprisoned.
Everything he had strived for --- lost forever.
His world was shattered...

Expressionless eyes stared out. His mind raged.
"What will they do to me?"
Trembling hands pushed the hair back from his face.
"Will they leave me here to die?"
Slowly he rose. The armor -- once regal, beautiful -- was disheveled. Broken. Bloody.
"I have been betrayed!" his mind screamed.
His head snapped back as his fists raged against the glass barrier...
The inevitable had hit home.
"N-n-o-o-o...!!"
A rage so profound ignited deep inside sending him reeling violently into the glass with powerful force.
The savage instinct for survival overwhelmed revealing a snarling, growling beast; beating and pounding on the impenetrable glass in a desperate attempt at shattering it.
Stumbling back, logic filtered into the confusion. He was trapped in this cage and there was no escape.
"Let me out!" He shrieked.
Every nerve in his body began to short-circuit and he began to shake.
In a state of denial, Thade threw his body into the glass with such vengeance, the repercussion slammed him to the floor leaving him dazed and shaken, his head swimming from the blow.
Curling into a tight ball and wrapping his long arms about himself...blackness.
His eyes rolled up in his head. His body writhed from siezure.

**

"I will die here." It came like a warm breeze. The first thought that entered his mind when he came to.
A low groan of pain escaped. A surrendering kind of sound one makes upon seeing their world collapse in all of its red raging glory.
Fear gripped tightly and he shuddered. He could not move - paralyzed by the haunting conclusion whispering in his ear; "Yes... you will die here..."
Such a welcoming tone.
Thade embraced the warmth which accompanied the decision. Closing his eyes, he waited, and the truth that his death was nigh washed over him.
Taking in a deep breath, he let it seep out in a wheeze.
This hell hole was his prison and his tomb. He passed out, giving in to his plight.
Letting go, Thade slipped into deep repose. There would be no physical escape from here...
There was no more prison. No more tomb. No more anything. Just darkness still and thick.
He had done this to himself. But would there be restitution for him after his demise? How would he be remembered, as a traitor or warrior?
It did not matter, now. The fever would burn his brain up in a matter of days consuming any rationality left to his thought process.
His heartbeat slowed taking him deeper, sinking him into an abyss void of noise, sense of touch, tucking its blackness around him as a blanket in winter.
There was no more prison. Or tomb. There was no more anything. Just darkness still and thick.
Time no longer existed.
Pain no longer existed.
NOTHING was what existed and it was welcomed with quiet abandon.


**

Kneeling next to the seemingless lifeless body, touching his chest, listening for life-sounds, another had entered the chamber where he lay dying for so many days. His skin was hot. Roiling.
Unaware of a journey he had made for a very elaborate hallucination, Thade was rescued from the place. Far into the forest. Away from the desert. Away from Calima. Away from those who had placed him there...
His armor was stripped along with the torn and bloody mail beneath it, leaving him naked and vulnerable. Finely woven linens were draped over him chilling his burning body.
Soft cool hands bathed the fevered brow. Stroked his hair.
Arms held him firmly, safely when siezure tore through him. Embracing him in its regression. Forgiving when the froth of vomit drooled from his mouth, cleansing his face.
These hands applied rich oils to his skin, massaging it into his temples, across his forehead, erasing the war-torn lines creasing his face like a road map, to relax his furrowed brow.

2

Death-like slumber enveloped him -- held him hostage, yet the hands worked to cool him.
Drops of water were placed on his tongue, its wetness sliding down his throat extinguishing the fire that burned there. Smells of rich oils aroused his senses and for the first time in many days Thade dreamed. Or at least he thought he had.
The angel touched him. Its ethereal voice echoed in his ears, calling him back from the throes of death.
This figment seemed to fade in and out of his dream, their fluid robes flowing about feet which did not seem to touch the floor. And the strong scent of Mihr...
He had not smelled it since childhood.
Under the influence of such a high fever his brain offered no logical explanation,but instead, presented the delusion that the vision was that of his mother whom he had never known.
He called out to her begging she return...

Thade drifted deeper. He was slipping away. Shadows, shifting ever closer like heavy thunderheads, were taking over his dream-state.
Hovering.
Waiting for the death rattle.

Icy chills coursed down his spine, and still, he felt the cool water on his head as his body was covered warmly.

**


She clasped her fingers together tightly as she knelt, an ardent request for guidance beseeched; "please, help us..."
"I cannot break his fever. I fear he is dying. What can I do?"
Silently she waited.Perhaps the gods had heard her prayer. A prayer so heart-felt they could not ignore the appeal.
From behind closed eyes she could tell the sun was setting behind the trees, casting shadows across the ground in long fingers, reaching out to grasp the last rays as they filtered through the canopy.
Barn swallows took flight from their high-hidden nests swooping for the insects as they crawled over the dewy undergrowth.
Lips moved with inaudible words; the plea -- repeated over and over like a rosary -- to Omnipresent forces.
"Wisdom will come to me." she said on a sigh.

**
Before the last glimmer of day faded, lamps were lit softly filling the main room with golden light, casting the walls in a pastel honey glow. A comfortable atmosphere, simply decorated, consisting of a sofa, a suspended wicker chair, and a beautifully carved table positioned before the sofa. Under foot a rattan rug stretched. Odd finds and artifacts, from days-gone-by, nestled inside of a tall curio that stood prominently beside the door.
To the other side of the room a dining table filled the center surrounded by six chairs; all pieces carrying the same carving as the sofa table -- depicting twisting vines dripping with grape clusters.
Pictures, depicting dreamy, far away vistas and lazy blue rivers, capturing a place from the past, hung in a row. A time when it was peaceful and calm...
Now the house itself was not a house at all, but an ancient redwood measuring a thousand feet in circumference. Despite the fact that it was hollowed out it remained alive blending in so well with its surroundings that there was never any threat of being detected by the apes -- if they ever had reason to venture out that far.
It was this solitary life she chose. One did not get hurt if there was no one to inflict the pain. However if there was ever a request for her assistance -- be it man or ape, she always went to them -- never seeking anything in return except that she be left alone and that they not attempt to convince her to live among others of her species. To her, there was no "other species".
"You are so vulnerable out there." The "folks" would lament.
"We worry about you."
"I'm fine." She would assure, giving a gentle kiss to the aged cheek. "I will come when you need me here."
She would walk into the forest, vanishing into its flora.

**
With lamp in hand, she made her way back to the bedroom where the wounded soldier lay. Creeping to his bedside she gazed down on the simian. He was so still, for a moment she thought he had died. Resting her hand on his chest she felt it rise exhaustively.
"At least he is still alive."
He felt the touch. Somewhere deep within he was relieved to know someone was there, and that he still breathed.
She released a long-held breath of relief.
Placing the back of her hand to his cheek she felt the fever. Frustration furrowed her brow as she shook her head.
"Why can't I break it?!"
She hurried for more cloths and began packing the soldier under his arms, to the nape of his neck, behind his knees, and to his kidneys; ice-cold well water, soaking his body to keep his brain from burning up. Sweat dripped from the tip of her chin as she recycled the cloths; warm for cold, warm for cold. Her back ached from bending over him. She was ready to drop. Taking a chair from the dining table she positioned it at his bedside and worked diligently from the pail of water between her feet.
"Come back," she said, wiping his palid face. "Don't let this get you. Hear me. Follow my voice."
Studying him, she had come to the conclusion that he was of the utmost importance. The cut of his auborn hair, the groomed goatee which encircled his pale lips. Even in this poor of condition he held an air of authority. Looking over at the armor -- so beautifully gilded in pure gold of two simians poised in battle; it was a promise of severe punishment unto any and all humans crossing his beliefs.
It spoke of a warrior.
Perhaps, even, a ruler.
Her fingers glided over the broken armor, sinking deeply into the gashes criss-crossing the breast-plate, taking liberty of the gold once embossed there.
Destroying it...
Destroying a legacy...
"Why...?" She pondered.
Why had he ended up imprisoned in such a place?
What could he have done to cause someone to be so cruel as to allow another to perish in such a way?
She smiled sadly. It did not matter now. Getting him well did.

3

* * *

Thunder rumbled across the sky waking her with a start as lightning stabbed among the clouds. Hearing the wind picking up she did not remember dozing off -- sprawling forward in the chair pulled closely to the bedside, her arms stretched protectively across the soldiers chest.
Great gusts rattled the shutters, whistling their arrival through the cracks that to enter was no option.
As she rose to secure the shutters, he called out desperately. It was another night-terror. She had grown used to them. For many sleepless nights she sat next to him bathing his brow, offering up gentle words of reassurance that he was not alone. That someone was there.
His face contorted in rage as he screamed at the demons behind his closed eyes, swinging out physically at the phantoms only to recoil as if under attack -- shielding his face -- begging mercifully for them to leave him.
Compassion drew her to his side. To simply ease his tense brow, offer words to let him know the demons were not real...
"You're safe. Hear my voice and know you are alright."
She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.
"I'm here."
Taking his arms down from his face, she held his hands. "I'm real. Feel my touch."
Her breath sung over his face as he felt himself lift from the blackness. His face relaxed as if in a contented smile and she slipped her hands free.
"I have something for you."
Spinning from her seat she went to the window. The shutters flapped incessantly before she leaned into them unlatching the eye-hook and allowing the burst of wind to enter.
Returning to the ape's side she pulled the linens from him allowing the cool air upon him. Gossamer netting, which surrounded the bed sailed and billowed over his body, caressing his skin, sending sensations making him twitch. She pulled the mosquito net away exposing the soldier to the rush of air, and she watched the heat rise off of him.
The storm grew in intensity pelting the tree tops, sending wind chimes, somewhere outside the window, into a tempest symphony -- a terrestrial rhythm anxiously conveying its distress to the forest.
For a moment she watched the lightning through the breaks in the canopy; the thunder, so furious, shook the objects on her dresser.
This was a good one, she thought.
Returning to her patient she took his hand while observing him for any sign that he had received any relief. His fever had dropped some thanks to the storm, and she sank wearily into her chair. That was when she felt -- or at least thought she had -- a slight squeeze.
Was he aware that he was not alone in his nightmare? She leaned into his face.
"Can you hear me?"
He suddenly grasped hold of her hand in a most desperate way.
He was fighting back...
Weakly, though...

* *


Another week had passed and Thade's fever still lingered refusing all efforts to break it. For short durations, it would drop only to return with seizures, nosebleeds, and bouts of nausea, evoking, in his caregiver, a great concern that, in fact, infection coursed in his blood, and if it was not intercepted now he would have no chance of recovery.
She paced in frustration, stopping only long enough to replace the warm cloths with fresh cool ones. Smoothing the towel across his forehead she realized how sick he really was, how it was beginning to show in his features. Her lips went paper thin in a grimace.
"Hang on."
In the dark, he glowed an eerie paleness while dark circles, from sunken eyes, grew ever more prevalent. Breaking into a sweat one moment only to be freezing in the next, he was dying.
Almost sobbing, she fell across the body. "Don't die on me. It will come, I know it will. Just hold on."
She barely heard his heart beat resting her head there to listen. He hadn't made a move since that one time, and his bodily functions were going to start shutting down in a matter of days if she didn't...
In that instant she had awakened to an antidote. To save his life she would have to administer something that could very well end it. Herbs such as Foxglove,Goldenbough, and Aaron's Rod which had proven fatal if given incorrectly could kill him instantly. But there was nothing else she could do except try it -- cautiously...

Another storm was approaching rapidly as herbs, roots, and berries were gathered. Thunder threatened when she grabbed one last handfull before bolting for the tree-abode.
Grinding the botanicals with a morter and pestle, a most acrid odor was released causing her to lean back in disgust. It smelled like a barn yard just after a summer rain. She added to it some Meade creating a tincture which in turn created a sort of "shoot and cringe" reaction; the wine disguising, little if any, of the bitter antioxident.
Harsh, bitter flavors filled his mouth. He could not protest when it burned his tongue, making him sick to his stomach when he swallowed. It passed his pallet too often, it seemed, as the potion was fed to him day and night. Drop by drop.
Oh these tortuous demons! Locked deep in his prison he cried for redemption as tears streamed down his cheeks, proclaiming he had changed his ways, his ideals, and how he had learned from his misdeeds; all slurred and mumbling before falling just above a whimper when she laid her hands on him, petting the down of his forehead.
"You're safe, now." hushed.
Sensing the caress his brow rose in surrender, relaxing in his struggle against the nightmare. The voice -- soothing and so much more powerful than his antagonists -- charged into the blackness
holding him hostage -- driving his demons back to hell empty-handed.
Thade tossed and turned. His head turned from one side to the other as if he were looking at someone or "some-thing".
"Death...?" he called feverishly. "Where are we going?"
In a voice as clear as a bell, he said, "Please, do not return me there."
Shaking her head, she turned to him. His eyes were open, yet only blank expressionless orbs stared making her jump.The very essence of his plea broke her heart to see this once proud warrior broken down to a dispirited wretch. "no," she promised softly. "you will never go back there."
He stared through her before a deep sigh escaped.
"Rest now."
He obeyed the voice...
He slept...

* *

Morning brought the sound of thunder to his ears as it pressed on through endless grey sky.
He opened sandy feeling eyes, feeling like he had only dozed off, weary from studying his maps. Things were out of place, though. The sheers billowing about the bed threw him. He felt sore and parts of him burned, especially his left shoulder, but for the life of him he could not recall what the hell had happened.
Not yet.
Vision clearing, Thade realized that he was not in familiar surroundings,which only aided his confusion; adding a touch of disorientation to taste. The bed he rested in was not his or anyone elses he had romped in. The articles around him were alien. Nothing was recognizable when his eyes fell upon something new -- gawking uncomfortably about. Chewing nervously at the inside of his cheek, Thade tried to move. He was so weak that if he were to stand he knew he would not get far. He felt the fine linens under his hands covering him. Upon lifting them he discovered they were all that were.
Exasperated, he brought his hands to his face, releasing a low frazzled groan, and rubbed his eyes. There was no grate of sandpaper-like roughness against his eyelids. Befuddled, he brought his hands down before his swollen eyes. They appeared to have been manicured. Not looking this good in years. Running his hand along his jaw-line, it had been shaven and his goatee neatly trimmed. Only his cracked lower lip flawed the smoothness.
"How long have I...?" He spoke aloud, his query interrupted by movement in the doorway.
He could not make out just who or what stood but it appeared that they were just as unsure of him as he was of them.
He tilted his head quizzically as his eyes narrowed. "Why do you linger among the shadows?" he rasped. "Let me see you."
Cast in the grey of the day, she entered cautiously moving slowly so as not to startle her now awakened guest. Thade followed them with steely-eyed precision noticing how this form seemed to flow along -- that they were of the female persuasion.
"Such a tiny thing." His thoughts relayed.
The curve of her hip nor the way this stranger carried themself was not what captured the General's attention. It was the cascade of raven-black hair which fell almost to her knees. The breeze through the open window floated strands about her like blythe spirits, mesmerizing him.
"Was this the one who saved my life...!? This waif...!?"
Closer, and more pensive in her steps, she came, clutching her robe when she passed the window, yet still allowing a glimpse of the form beneath, moving lithely into the light of the lamp. Hypnotized, Thade awaited expectantly, raising his head to peer down his muzzle once they appeared, catching the rich earthy scent of botanical oils as they wafted heavily into his nostrils. He was prepared to give his thanks to the simian, but like a kick in the stomach, he discovered his savior to be what he least expected...
A human.
His body tensed. This had caught him completely off guard. A dangerously fierce growl came from his chest; a warning for her to keep away.
"Who are you?!" He snarled, the black rings around his eyes worsening.
Smiling gently, she leaned into the glow of the lamp, a sweet expression beaming down on him. "Don't you remember?"
"Don't come any closer!"
The warning was adamant, distrusting her immediately, watching her with the deep-seeded loathing for what she was. He made a sudden upward motion with his head as if in a half-nod, then tilted it to one side releasing a belittling snort of disgust.
Startled by his crass aversion, she lowered her gaze, her eyes saddened. "I understand now." She said.
Looking back to him she came face-to-face with a snarling mask of fangs. "How did I get here?!"
He scared her speechless. All she could do was shake her head in disbelief. The words, though simple, were lodged in her throat. His deep resentment burrowed under her skin when he glared from beneath his heavy brow, watching her every move diligently.
He smelled her fear. Yet it was not the usual pungent odor of sweat and piss that commonly assaulted him. Hers came as a whisper -- rich and sweet. Though her scent did not displease, he leered at her suspiciously. In her throat Thade heard the rattle of words forcing their way up, breaking just above a whisper;
"I brought you here." Her voice waivering just on the verge of tears.
In a movement as natural as breathing, she then reached out and wiped at a bead of sweat breaking on his brow; "You were hurt..." she disclosed, catching the perspiration on her fingertip.
Long hot fingers coiled around her hand like a snake -- his reflexes, so swift, she could not withdraw fast enough. He tightened his grip, drawing her down until she was but a breath away from his own face. Terror flashed in her eyes as another resonant growl ascended.
"How long have I been here...?" His deadly gaze bore into her, leaving her at his mercy, if it existed in him at all.
Feeling her tremble delighted him, arousing the knowledge that he could induce such fear. He smiled to himself over it, and with each passing second his grip grew tighter. If she did not answer soon he was going to break every bone in her hand...
"TELL ME...!!!"
Whether he had succeeded in scaring it out of her or hurting it out, she began to cry as he twisted her wrist, his nails digging into her forearm, cutting like four blades as he glared malevolently, demanding his question be answered now.
She could not breathe. Her head swam. With all she had, she forced the words out with a scream. "THREE WEEKS...!" she blurted. "You've been here for three weeks!"
Thade looked as if he had been struck. Three weeks?! She felt his grip loosen, saw the stupified expression was over his face.
Jerking away suddenly, Thade's nails drug through the soft flesh of her forearm leaving a trail of bloody tracks in their wake. She backed away quickly toppling the chair as she wiped at angry tears.
"You are a beast!" She scorned.
Thade searched himself, then suddenly swung his head to her. "Do not ever touch me!" He hissed, black, emotionless sockets stabbed at her, reflecting his hatred.
"I brought no harm to you." She repealed, trying desperately to hide hurt feelings.
Thade sensed her genuine bereavment and for a split second felt for her. He saw the blood on her arm. Taking in a deep breath he perceived,possibly, that he could almost feel sorry for doing what he did.
Turning toward the door, she stopped there and turned to him. "It is obvious my work is done." Then she walked out, her head down, visibly disheartened by his reaction.
Although he did not trust her, or any human for that matter, she had peaked Thade's curiosity. This was no ordinary human he was dealing with. Even in his blind rage, he realized, when he caught sight of her for the first time, there was something unusual here. For she was clean and well groomed, and to his surprise, civilized. Nonetheless, he did not hold much confidence in her. She had to be up to something. Still, to find out more about her purged. Maybe if he discovered who she was and why she had done what she did, by freeing him and healing him, he could find closure. It would have to wait. The exertion from the brief struggle had left him suddenly weak and sleepy. His eyelids grew heavy as sleep descended upon him, detaching him from the real world once more...

Separated by only a curtain, she sat in her chair pondering over the dilemma, quite shaken from the attack. The compassion she once held for the chimp-soldier had been dashed to bits, leaving her bitter while she examined her twisted wrist, turning it gingerly back and forth, watching the bruises develop along the trail of deep gouges along her arm. After nursing him back to health, only to have him lash out at her so viciously, she felt betrayed. However, she knew she had to approach him again in order to help him fully recover. With that in mind and calm discernment, she nodded in agreement. Get him well then send him on his way. Goodbye.

He awoke to find his meal waiting and a note on how to take the tincture she had prepared. At first, he wouldn't touch a thing but when he began feeling weaker, there was an understanding. Eat, take your medicine, rest, or die. Period. It went on like this for days; while he slept, she came and brought fresh water and fruit, slid pillows out from under him to change the cases, then just left him be. Maybe once in a while she left a book. But he did not want to read! He wanted to talk! But she was sly. It was like she knew when he was really sleeping and when he was simply trying to catch her there. The boredom was terrible and he soon lost interest in eating. All he wanted to do was sleep. His actions had gotten him in trouble again, and it felt as bad as being locked up back in Calima.
Vivid dreams filled with violence and madness hurled Thade back into the chamber; the glass barrier coming down with a thunderous roar. His will to survive was on the brink of collapse as he pointed the gun at his own head. Click, click, click... His cries fell on deaf ears as they stood like statues and watched him self-destruct. All of it came crashing down on him: the loss of his dignity, the rejection from his peers. He couldn't even kill himself!
It all surfaced on his face. A furrowed brow, the whimpers stirring from deep within, along with inaudible words best kept that way. The nightmare demons had him tossing and turning again. Then, the angel appeared -- releasing him, taking his hand to lead him back.
Thade's eyes opened abruptly, very much aware that another presence was in the room. That she was watching him. Sitting right there next to the bed. He turned over suddenly and their eyes locked.
"Why did you release me?" His voice, cold and demanding was etched with the nightmare.
The dark pools did not avert this time. She challenged him, looked straight into him. "I couldn't leave you."
Skepticism danced across Thade's face. "You felt pty!" He scoffed, rolling his eyes away.
She lowered her head. "Yes."
Thade's cold, untrusting heart had met its match with soft, emphatic understanding. He could not pull away easily, denying what confronted him, what he purposefully fought to ignore... Her profound compassion for all living things. A quality he was unaccustomed to when dealing with her species.
Scrutinizing her, studying the shape of her, she was unlike any human he had yet to come across.
"I feel for you." Her soft spoken words captured him. He stared, unable to take his eyes off of her.
Her hand reached out then stopped short heeding the previous warning.
"Forgive me," and she folded her hands on her lap. "I have touched you so many times that it is difficult, now, not to."
Thade observed her smugly. In the back of his memory, it was her hands that had soothed him. She was a human, but not of the usual breed of female; the man-like amazons that could take on the strongest gorilla troops or the wyliest of chimps. This one was tiny! Fragile. With soft cool healing hands.
He must have been wearing some kind of expression of submission, for when he awoke from his little day-dream, she was smiling at him. Quickly, he scowled at his reasoning and at her.
"You were unjustly accused..."
The words froze him.
Closing her eyes, she shook her head and said, "You only did what you thought was right."
Thade was extremely taken aback by the words. It reflected in his expression, changing from total distrust to utter disbelief that she knew what had transpired. For certainly she was not there to witness the battle! He would have taken down this elf swiftly!
He closed his eyes tightly; "how does she know of this?"
Her words rang in his ears: "You only did what you thought was right..."
It left him isolated. Tears of anger and frustration fought to come burning their way to the surface.
"I am sorry..."
He barely heard her words feeling her touch when she tried to comfort him, her hand resting on his arm. He flinched. The feel of her stroking him made him shudder. Being touched by her was not what made him tremble so. It was the comfort he derived from the caress. A security there. She would not harm him. There was no threat.
He let down his guard and a rare and unusual emotion emerged.
A nervous laugh escaped him. "I must be losing my mind." He declared.
The very idea of having any kind of amnesty for this human had him doubting his sanity.
He felt a tear roll down his cheek.
She withdrew her hand upon sensing his discomfort when he latched onto her unexpectedly, grasping her arm,startling a yelp from her. Oh no, she had forgotten!
"Please..." she begged.
Opening his eyes to her, she was positive of his intentions...To finish what he had started!
To pull away was fruitless. He had her but good. "Please don't hurt me." She begged, closing her eyes from his steely gaze.
Anticipating that the next thing she would experience was to be the excruciating pain as he snapped her wrist, she prepared herself and took in a ragged breath holding it.
But it never came.
He brought her hand to his muzzle, taking each finger -- and, like a curious child, examined each one, sniffing at the oils, all the while, watching her. A wan smile appeared, precariously, upon his lips as he observed her bewilderment upon opening her eyes.
Withdrawing, her hands clenched into fists. He pulled them back, opening them. He studied the bruises. Touched them, trailed a long digit over the scratches to her elbow, his face revealing an emotion she could not interpret, for it contained a mixture of fury, sorrow, and confusion.
She fixed on his eyes, searching. His return was apprehensive -- threatening absolute control over her. Lowering her head, she shyed from his stare unsure of just how to take it -- as a challenge or something far more physical.
Pressing her palm to his cheek, Thade felt its softness, dreamily closing his eyes.
She felt excitement shiver through her, saying aloud what she thought was to herself; "Phallen, get a grip...!"
"Phallen..." Thade mused, coming in a purr, having caught her low retort.
Enfolding her hand in his, he turned it palm up; "I am sorry I hurt you.", kissing the bruises.
Peering from her palm, he wondered if she could see how he felt. If she would understand him or simply trust in him. Or run, helter-skelter, from him.
In a soft purr, he surrendered to whatever it was to be as he looked at her, weary to gaze into those hypnotic orbs now that he had.
Studying her solemnly he brushed back the raven hair which fell about her face; the paleness of her skin, long black lashes which hid her eyes whenever she lowered them. The full brows that complimented those pools of mystery. Her nose was fine and straight, turning up slightly on the end giving a child-like mien to her. He saw her full lips, rarely giving way to a full smile of straight white teeth seeming to span her face, feeding into her self-conscious that her mouth was too big. Her chin came to a soft rounded point as the jaw-line sauntered back to elf-like ears. One more thing she kept hidden.
But as Thade saw her -- really looked at her for the first time, he noticed none of these flaws. He had no rational answer as to why he had become so smitten by her.
"Maybe she is like a pet..." He fancied.
If that were the case she was like no pet he ever had!
Throughout his life he was taught to kill humans... Destroy them... This one, though was different. She had no tribe, lived alone away from everything. She was clean, groomed, and dressed in the finest textiles this side of his city.
How? Why?
"When you are well, you must return to your people."
Thade snapped out of his day-dream. "They have turned against me, Phallen." He lowered her hand -- streamed a long index finger along her life-line.
"They came back for you." she pressed.
His eyes went to hers. She felt his hand squeeze. "Tell me."
He waited, all feeling pushed aside; delving for retribution, wanting to hear it all now. And Phallen had seen them return. She knew his future.
She pulled gently from his grip and began to pace slightly as she began. "A gorilla; very powerful in rank, was especially upset at not finding you..."
"Attar." Thade recalled.
Phallen nodded lightly, her face all aglow in the lamp light. "He said something about being "too many years to allow you to fall", that it was a "mistake to leave you like that."
Falling silent she thought perhaps Thade might explain what the gorilla had meant. But upon looking at the soldier she realized how bothered he was by this news.
"The Senate requested your reinstatement..." Her last words sent a charge through him. Even the thunder seemed to hold itself back; the silence pounding in their ears.
Phallen slipped from the room feeling that she should have left the ape where he was so he would not have had to endure such an extended illness. There would have been doctors there who would have healed him much sooner and he would be back with his comrades. To let him digest what he had learned, maybe he wouldn't kill her.

* *

"What has this human done for me?"
He knew a change had occurred. It was so different now.
"I can't hate her now."
Yet, in the back of his head a still, small voice warned, "you cannot trust her."
His chest ached. To get well and leave here... She would fall away from him just as the others had. Leaving him alone and angry.

* *

"Let him go now..."
Unwilling to become anymore involved than she already was, Phallen withdrew any emotions held for the chimp-soldier, preparing herself to let him go, to release him and send him back where he belonged -- with his people, who obviously wanted and needed him there.
"...It is time."

* * *

Over the weeks, a friendship neither needed was developing. It was difficult to just accept this chance-meeting and to leave it at that. Thade was stronger and was able to stand long enough to make it to a high-hidden terrace up in the canopy. She brought him food and drink allowing him to sit and think and listen to the sounds of the forest. She took care of his needs making him well, all the while not realizing that she was falling into a tender trap. Disobeying her own ardent commitment to stay out of his life. He did not need her! Only now did he. And only now.
They trusted one another.
Thade could not deny it. He felt too comfortable around her, forgetting she was human, taking her at face-value only to shake himself back, circumstances arriving to the fact that soon he would be leaving. There was a strange ache inside that he could not put his finger on. Was it having to say goodbye feeding on his conscience? It had been so long since he felt such a powerful connection with anyone, having turned his feelings off to avoid the hurt endured in the past. He felt, with Phallen as if he could tell her anything be it good or bad, and he did. Many things and she accepted them without shudder or revolt, never finding fault, and he knew by the look on her face that her acceptance was genuine.
Sometimes she would not say a word. Just sit and listen to him, while other times she engaged in spirited conversation about her journys to places where the air was cold and white bllows fell from the clouds, explaining how it felt, how it fell without a sound covering the ground in a blanket of white. Thade would look at her absurdly.
"You are but a child. How can you say you have been to so many places and seen such things? Even I have never seen this frozen wasteland you speak of."
"I am not a child...!" Phallen protested. "I have been to many places in my life, though many when I was "but a child."
She proceeded to describe the sound of a hollow wind, for there were no life-sounds. No birds, nor insects. Nothing but the wind.
"My father took my brother and I there after my mother disappeared."
Thade dropped his gaze into his glass swirling it thoughtfully.
"Did you know your mother?" He asked.
"Only for a short while. I was five when she vanished."
"You are fortunate to have spent time with her." He replied quietly. "I did not receive such an opportunity."
Phallen smiled lightly understanding what loss meant. She felt deeply for him, and at the same time for herself.
"We have more in common than we thought." She said.
Then the uncomfortable silence came. She was embarrassed and neither knew what to say to pull up the reins on this lame horse without stepping on emotions.
"Phallen...?" Thade leaned into the light, eyes gleaming; his query pursed upon his lips.
Phallen peered shyly from beneath her brow trying to hide the feelings she had for him delivering an almost comical seriousness to her face. Thade fell back into the shadows of the evening, veiling his features.
"Never mind," He dismissed, waving his hand. "I cannot remember."
But he could. He wanted to tell her how he felt. How she made him feel. Though it was not apparent to her, she was more to him than what he had perceived her to be -- his pet.
To tell her goodbye was going to be difficult. The only thought which seemed to quell the inevitable was the one which he swore to do; to return to this unusual creature. She had protected him with her life. To repay her with the same virtue was only fair. But he feared his emotion burrowed much deeper. The more he was with her the more he wanted to stay with her! There was this soul in her that reached out to him through those soft brown eyes.
"I will miss her!" He thought.
He turned to the forest, sighing.

* * * *

It was to be their last evening. How quickly the time seemed to have passed. Thade would leave in the morning.
Could he leave in the morning?
Phallen had prepared a beautiful feast, gathering everything from the forest without having to touch nothing that did not grow naturally. Orchards belonging to the apes of Derkien were out of the question. They were not hers and they certainly would not appreciate her plucking the fruit they worked so hard on to grow. There was plenty of fruits and vegetables in the forest for her. She even made her own wine derived from honey and sugar cane.
They drank the wine she made, pouring one glass after another, burying the coming day when Thade would walk out of her life back to his, leaving her to carry on where she had left off in hers. That was how she wanted it and she played it off perfectly encouraging his endeavors with words that would send him back with no regret or feelings of indebtedness. She hid what she really wanted to let him hear. With the wine hitting her she wondered if it made any difference. They were from two different worlds. Nothing could change that. Not even a stupid statement.
Phallen's cheeks flushed from her own thoughts as an awkward silence fell over them. The lamp in the center of the table cast their shadows, leaping and dancing, onto the far wall, while either one refused to bid the other adieu. She scanned the room. Memories of the past weeks glowed on her skin -- from her misty eyes.
Thade watched her, saw the emotion break on her brow. Her warmth was real and it radiated to the surface; tangible and visible.
She avoided his stare.
'Don't look at me that way! You are making it hard to let you go! It's not fair!' Her mind raged.
He made an attempt to get her to smile, a cheap disguise for what was going on inside of his own psyche. He was lost. Having laid his trust in her, to leave was crushing his heart.
The smile on his lips turned downward conveying how hard it was becoming to conceal his own crush.
"This isn't how it's supposed to be." He thought.
What came out was a lame, stuttering statement of his esteem toward what she had done for him.
"You...," He shook his head searching for words to fit so he could allow closure to a relationship he wished could be be much more than a fantasy.
"You saved my life." He finally said. "You CHANGED it."
He stared directly into her, never giving her a chance to avert.
"You resurrected me and I feared you." He reached out and touched her hand. "I do not fear you now, nor do you fear me. Never fear me, Phallen."
The fervent gaze could not be avoided. It burned into her until she dipped her head, her long, black tresses hiding her. She understood more than she cared to after seeing his desire, unspoken, yet screaming of the affection he wanted to release over her.
Thade waited out the storm when the light hit her eyes. He tipped his head to one side, an inquisitive smile emerging across his face, totally caught off guard by her abrupt dash from the table, her glass of wine crashing carelessly to the floor in her hasty retreat.
Rushing out under the trees, Phallen began to cry, cursing herself for being so selfish and weak.
"Forgive me...!" She cried to the heavens. "I know he doesn't belong here! I cannot let him know!"
Collecting herself as she wiped stubbornly at her tears, Phallen knew an apology was in order for her behavior. Tossing her hair back she turned back, prepared to explain. How long he had been standing there, she had no idea, walking into him.
Thade did not move. He allowed her to stumble into him in the darkness.
"Do you think it is easy for me?" His voice came in a gentle rasp as he took her by the arms feeling her skin beneath his hands.
"My emotions do not reveal themselves as readily. Though, with you..." He took in a long, slow breath. "I find it difficult to control them."
Closing her eyes, she shuddered as he slid his hands down her arms, strong and warm when they clutched her.
"I struggle with my past." He conveyed, his words falling just above a whisper. "Now I struggle with leaving here. Leaving you."
She could feel his breath as he spoke. Sensed him moving closer. His facial hair brushed her cheek, his breathing grew short anticipating her embrace, and he began to tremble.
"Forgive me," He whispered, taking in her sweet scent, wanting so to take her up in his arms and ravish her.
To stay with her.
Instead he pulled back and peered into her moonlit eyes losing himself in the murky, moody storm.
"I beseech you," He implored. "This cannot continue, though I desire it to."
His confession, so fervent, his voice quaked in arousal. Finding her hands, Thade took another step back.
"To allow myself to weaken would not be fair to you."
He knew by the way she quivered under his touch that she was chaste, and his fierce attraction frightened her. He smiled down at her cupping her chin. "Come back in..."

* * *

To hear the bird songs of the morning brought the inevitable; a smile, wishes of peace and prosperity, and then farewell.
Thade was well enough to make the journey home. His thoughts were occupied by what lay ahead. Knowing he was to be reinstated as General of the Derkien army did not lift his spirits though. To say goodbye to his friend was breaking his heart, and he prayed it could be different.
Taking in everything around him, Thade wanted something to remember her by. In the corner of the bedroom, clustered on the floor, conch shells gathered. Surly she would not miss one. Yes she would. Those had been there longer than he had. Just steal the memory. Remember it all.
Nothing worked to ease his mind. Thade gnashed his teeth trying to satisfy the gnawing inside. He knew this was an experience he would not soon forget. With that, his face sat like stone and he marched from the bedroom. He knew once he left, this tree-abode, this creature of the forest would be next to impossible to find. It blended in so well if one ventured out of its premise there would be no easy way of finding one's way back. It became undiscernable from the millions of trees in the jungle. She would be lost forever.
Phallen stood just outside the door of the tree-abode watching surreptitiously as he came from the bedroom, seeing him glance back over his shoulder for one last look. She took in a deep breath, holding it, closing her eyes as he brushed past her, realizing she would never see him again. A tempest raged within her, yet she remained steadfast. Chills ran up her spine when he passed, smelling the oils mixing with his chemistry.
'Let him go! Don't defeat your purpose for living alone!'
Stepping into a beam of light, Thade turned to her shielding his eyes, looking hard at her, taking in her image, burning it into his memory forever. A deep scowl broke on his brow. Unable to comprehend why he could not keep her with him... And his eyes grew dark.
It was just the way it was...
"I will never forget you." And with a bow, not unlike that to royalty, Thade took her hand. "For you are truly a gift." Then he kissed her hand tenderly, letting it drop to her side.
As he rose he could not hide the melancholy. Phallen smiled, hiding her own pain behind unemotional eyes. She had shut him out of her life already, refusing to take responsibility for his broken heart and his freedom from owing her anything.
Thade shook his head angrily as a frustrated sigh escaped. So that is how she thinks?!
Whipping around he leaped into the forest disappearing almost immediately.
Phallen scoped her surroundings before releasing a sigh of relief. A quivering sound escaped revealing the feelings she hid so well. What she had done was right. To send him away thinking she had only been there to heal him was just. It was only fair to him. He was free in spite of the fact her tears were but a look away, fighting like hell to keep them at bay.
Taking a step back to her door she wiped at the tear that rolled down her cheek, when without so much as snapping a twig, Thade dropped down behind her. All she heard was the soft patter as his feet hit the deck. She spun and gasped finding him standing right behind her, his face set like stone as he stared into the eyes of a very bad liar. He seized her powerfully around her waist and pulled her close.
"I am not dealing with your defiance very well." He admonished, running his hand along her back beneath the black, endless mane.
Breathing heavily, he inhaled the deep earthy smell of her hair, burying his face in her neck. A resonant purr rose from his chest, feeling the rapture from just holding her next to him.
Thade looked into her eyes searching, and discovered the warmth she had tried to hide come in great, salty tears. Her facade had been lifted. She was vulnerable after all.
He ran his fingers through her hair, then gently held her neck. "I have not felt this way in..."
"Phallen, I..." She placed a finger to his lips.
"This is not how it should be." She said quietly.
His mind raged with the truth of why he had come back, why he held her the way he did. He could not let her go. He had always gotten what he wanted and she was no exception.
She shook her head slowly; lowering her gaze. She saw the want in his eyes wishing he would have just kept going, to let it be a tale untold. He lifted her chin, once again losing himself in her eyes... as his burned with brazen fervor.
Phallen pushed out of his embrace spinning away from him. This was hurting her and she refused to entertain his outragious notion that an ape and a human could love one another. She released a nervous titter, shaking her head madly. Thade reached for her, his touch pensive, gentle, turning her to cup her lovely face in his big hands.
"Kiss me, Phallen." His words, so caught up in emotion she barely heard them.
Their lips touched. To take her breath in him, to feel her hands touch him rushed upon Thade like a tidal wave and he pulled back trying to control the passion burning inside. A struggle, he realized, he could soon succumb to. Adoring her, he saw her innocence. She knew what was happening between them, how this sensation coursing through them could lead to something they both could regret. She was innocent not naive. Just the thought of never seeing her again descended upon him like a dark cloud.
She smiled warmly touching his cheek. "Well?" She persued.
Overwhelmed, Thade enwrapped her in one long arm gliding through her hair with his other hand, feeling its thickness -- knowing he was safe there.
Slowly they came together in their embrace, stronger and deeper than any emotion he had ever felt, sending him into a tail-spin he could not pull out of this time. Reeling. Falling. His head spun euphorically. Caught up in her so severely nothing else mattered as he took her back in one profound kiss; his body rushing with deep, savage abandon. Gazing down at her as she lay back in his arms, Thade knew what he wanted to do was wrong. But it felt so right!
'This is not right!'
He seemed to shudder from the words in his head as they intruded on his conscience. Standing her back on her feet Thade pawed nervously at her dress, straightening it, lifting her hair to drape it back.
"I..." Conflict slapped him hard, overloading his brain with a deluge of rights and wrongs. "...must go."
He backed away never taking his eyes off of her, then with the agility of an acrobat, he sprung from the porch disappearing into the forest.
Still breathless Phallen fell into one of the chairs. Her head swimming.
"goodbye..." She heard herself whisper.

Chapter 2
"THE RETURNING"

He ran.
'This is not going to be easy. They are never going to accept this change in me...'
Standing at the edge of the forest, Thade looked back over his shoulder. He wanted to dash back to her, to stay. Instead he stepped out into the full morning light. The smell of sweet fruit blossoms and deep moist loam filled his lungs. Stepping out onto the open flat land, he was going home.
Home. Why did it sound so strange?
'How do I explain?'
"I owe no explanation!" He snorted angrily.
Just as swiftly as his anger had manifested, he had it under control. Something called "restraint". Something Phallen had bestowed upon him without trying.
"They, too had fallen under the words of a false prophet."
He sauntered through the tall grass, past sparse wooded areas looking like stranded islands in the vast flatness. He never felt so isolated. Not another living soul around except for the birds and they kept well hidden in those "islands", rendering up their forlorn songs.
'To return to her...' A smile played across his lips. 'I believe I love her.'
He let out with a shrill yell. The birds fell silent... As silent as the Senate was going to be when he proclaimed his sentiments to them over Phallen.
For a while he walked along with a grin, but the real truth was badgering and his dream dissipated, exposing a truth which slapped hard.
"Get your head out of the clouds! There's no way you will ever be able to see her again."
Indeed. His return would not be a glorious one. The Army Brass was not going to be playing "Hail the Returning Hero" in the square. He was going home but not as the conquering hero. He had faced death. Smelled its grey existence. Walked the blackened corridors of hell; a place he never wanted to return to. No one cared about that though. Not at home.
'There's that word again: home...'
Phallen understood. She cared. But to whom could he reveal that he had been helped by a human, that she was most extraordinary from the word "Go"? How could he explain his ardent feelings for her? Hell, he could not even explain that to himself!
Her warmth rose in their embrace. He did not imagine that. He felt her tremble; recognized her fear. That was why he had left so abruptly. To have taken her would have been barbaric even in his eyes. He knew then how much he cared for her. The spark was ignited in him. How did she, a mere human, affect him so profusely?!
Thade shook his head. 'Stop already!'
Home... whether he liked it ot not...
'I admit I have fallen in love with her. I will return to her...'

* * *

High in the tree tops, Corporal Omri scanned the horizon. Normally he could have seen for miles but today there was not much to look at. The rain had left a haze over the forest making it nearly impossible to ascertain anything outside of a two-mile radius. It mattered little to him at that hour. His sentry duty was about over for this region and he had a two-day furlough coming. He had not seen his wife in days. In her last letter she had promised sweet meade wine. Oh yes! And he could almost taste it. His young chimp face creased into a fangy, broad smile as he bounced eagerly on the limb; anticipating his hammock.
"Lazy, lazy, lazy!" He sung as large pods dislodged from the tree, falling hap-hazardously through the branches, falling hard like golf balls to the path below rendering up curses and warnings from those accessing it.
"Sorry!" He called.
Still high on the idea of R&R, Omri paid little attention to the horizon. Couldn't see a damned thing anyway. It was all one big cloud sitting there. Besides, it had been quiet for months.
He scanned the vista missing the figure cresting the hillside. His head snapped back. Letting out a howl of alarm he scrambled from his perch and leaped fifty feet to the ground breaking into a run back to the army base...
The corporal burst into the commander's quarters unannounced and slightly winded.
"Someone approaches the city, Sir!"
Attar turned from his task. If he had been caught off guard it never reflected, for his expression remained dauntless.
"Hmmm...?" Came his rumbling inquiry.
Corporal Omri nodded, pointed anxiously. "Someone is coming from the West!"
Attar's eyes narrowed...

* * *

"Alert the troops. Get me Matthaszar, Izu, and Lazurus. They will come with us." Attar barked as he hustled across the compound toward the stables.
The sun was dipping lower by the minute and it was now a race with the light. It could be an ambush; how they send one out to see how far they get before being sprung upon. Commander Attar was not about to take any chances with the safety of his city. It had been peaceful for months. Why did it have to start again?
The five raced out into the open terrain prodding their mounts into full speed as the sun sunk behind the mountain.
Pointing a massive, gloved finger, Mattaszar barked, "Up ahead!" Shaking his finger Westward.
All eyes trailed after spotting movement about one-hundred yards away. Attar bolted ahead, centered keenly on the shadow, his hand going to the hilt of his sword as he neared. Riding up on the stranger he pulled hard on the reins making the horse rear as it was suddenly forced into a cantor.
"Stop and identify yourself!" He demanded brusquely, keeping his hand on the sabre.
"It is I..."
Attar rode up hard on the stranger pulling on the reins just in front of them. The horse reared in protest causing the trespasser to throw their hands up protectively. The Commander pulled his sabre from its sheath defensively, wheeling his horse around the dark figure for a second pass. Halting his mount, he swung a massive leg over, hitting the ground with a thud directly in front of them. Raising his black muzzle in the air, Attar inhaled deeply discerning the smell as one of his own species. Hoof beats were quickly descending when Attar caught the profile. At a loss for words, his mouth agape, the gorilla's eyes grew large.
"How...?" He stammered.
This was no phantom before him! The General had risen from the dead! They stood face-to-face for several seconds hearing the approach of horses.
"Just tell me if it's true!" Thade snapped in a gravelly voice. "Did you come back?"
The rest of the party rode up encircling the two where they stood, noticing how the Commander appeared to be physically shaken by the presence of the thin, pale looking chimp in the tattered uniform.
"sir...?" Corporal Omri began.
But Attar did not hear him. Instead, he only nodded in response to Thade's inquiry, slowly grasping at the reality that he was, indeed, standing before him.
"SIR...?" Omri pressed, and Attar spun.
"Go back to the compound. There is to be no word of the General's return until I say so. If anyone breathes a word I will know who opened their mouth."
Attar growled fiercely as his eyes shot out at them. They backed away nodding before high-tailing it back to the city. Being a bit curious of just who it was, Omri hesitated. He strained to make out the silhouette in the twilight, squinting until he recognized them. He could not believe his eyes. It was General Thade.
The Commander stepped up to Omri's horse. "What is it, Corporal?"
The young chimp shook his head. "Nothing, sir."
"Then why are you still here? I need you back at the compound. Tell the sentries it is safe. They don't need to know anymore than that. Clear?"
Omri saluted. "Yessir."
With one last look, he had caught Thade's eye. There seemed to be a communication of understanding right then and there. They nodded to one another, then Omri wheeled his steed about and disappeared into the shadows of the forest.
Turning back to Thade, the gorilla saw him sway.
"Are you alright?"
Reaching up to his immense shoulder, the ex-General latched on.
"I have been through hell, my friend." He sighed wearily. "It is time for a change."
His words came so softly the commader had to look to make sure it was Thade talking.
He shivered. Where was the fire once possessed? It seemed to have been snuffed out or doused. Or left in the bowels of Calima...
For the first time, Attar noticed Thade's armor. It was tattered and shredded -- disgraceful. Thade could tell by the gorilla's face what he was thinking and he bobbed his head.
"I know, I know..." He conveyed. "It is ready to be retired."
Thade grinned painfully. He hurt all over. His face became serious. "Hell, it needs to be burned!"
He smiled again giving a little chuckle to try and lighten the solemn mood.
It did not matter. Attar was glad he found his comrade alive. Out of nowhere, huge arms suddenly embraced Thade in a gigantic bear-hug, squeezing the breath from him unknowingly. A splendid smile spanned the gorilla's face when he released, clutching Thade's shoulders.
"It is good to see you!" He declared, shaking Thade heartily.
Taking a stumbling step back, Thade fought to recover from the unexpected greeting. The power in that hug, though in good will, proved merciless on his healing ribs.
Closing his eyes Thade took in a slow, measured breath, stifling the pain hitching up his side. The grin fell from Attar's face when he witnessed the chimp's labored breathing, instantly aware of his friend's frailty.
"You are not healed!" He cried, ashamed of himself for having hurt him.
He took Thade under the arm, assisting him to the waiting horse.
Shaking his head, the chimp disputed, "I have traveled this far. I will make it the rest of the way."
Despite the Commander's pleas, Thade refused to take the reins.
"You have not lost your stubborn streak, sir."
But he had.
He had all but surrendered.

* *

The young corporal waited just along the line of trees. He could not get over how the General appeared. He watched the two slowly make their way across the lea, a lazy, grazing riderless horse following. Something had affected Thade deeply. He seemed humbled; very morose and distant. There was a lonliness behind his eyes as if he had lost his best friend. Omri recognized that ghostly look; having lost a brother, and it shook him, remembering the day when his life had changed forever. Yes, he knew that expression -- the expression of loss.
He did not hear Izu as he back-tracked, his horse coming head-to-head with Omri's. They exchanged glances, both realizing that a strong bond still laid between Commander Attar and Thade.
"You sensed it too, hmmm?" Omri queried softly.
"Yes. The air was thick."
Corporal Omri threw a glimpse at the gorilla. "Better head back in... make certain it stays quiet, ya know."
Nodding in unison, they wheeled their mounts around and disappeared into the forest leaving Attar and Thade to bring up the rear in their own time.

* * *

He missed her so.
Thade's thoughts wandered far ahead of he and Attar. Beyond the city only to turn around and fly past; back to the distant forest where everything was just...
So many words in his head filled the void.
Had he done the right thing by returning? Had Phallen only told him to do so simply to be rid of him? Surly, she would never steer him toward his demise. After all, she had brought him back from the brink of death. He had seen when she wept when she thought he had gone.
'She loves me... She loves me not...'
Thade dropped his gaze; stared at his own skinny shadow. Funny -- he did not feel his pain anymore.
For several minutes there was nary a word, only the sound of crickets and the swishing of their steps through dewy grass.
Attar sensed Thade's distance. It troubled him to see his friend so depressed -- so far out in left field without a clue, and really not seeming to care much about anything happening in the "now".
"Something troubles you." Attar said, unable to take the silence any longer.
He heard Thade give a little laugh. "I have a tale to tell you!"
He announced, swatting at the tall grass in jest.
Though he was grinning, his eyes; as lucid as still waters, delivered the grief which haunted him. Attar started unexpectedly. He was almost certain Thade was on the verge of insanity by the way he was behaving.
"There was someone." Thade revealed on a breath.



***



For what seemed like an eternity, the two finally appeared. They entered through the back gates so as to avoid any discrepencies due to Thade's return. The infantry had been informed and now awaited with apt anxiety. They had presumed him as good as dead when he did not emerge from the chasm of Calima. And the shots fired thereafter only confirmed it.
Immediately snapping to attention, all eyes tried hard to not stare at the mere shell of what they remembered. Passing the troops, Commander Attar surveyed the assembly with unyielding admonishment, narrowing his gaze on the one's most likely to incite argument amongst their peers. However, even those rebel-rousers appeared sympathetic to the chimp's profound loss of power, and regarded him with the same respect they gave their current leader, Attar.
Passing the assembly, all eyes followed prudently. What had happened to him? He was a ghost!
"Poor soul..." Came from deep within the horded shoulders. So quiet and prayer-like only those around heard the declaration.
Thade did not look at anyone. He kept his head down as he and Attar made their way to the stable where a stocky orangutan -- his red hair pulled back in a pony-tail -- watched, with caution, when they approached with horse-in-tow.
Handing the reins to the red ape, Attar looked at him thoughtfully. "I trust you know there is to be no word outside of the compound of the General's return?"
The orang nodded stiffly as his Sienna-colored eyes rolled up to meet the Commander's ardent stare. They nodded in unison.
"Good." Rumbled.
Thade had remained silent. He felt weak and feverish. Taking in a deep breath, he inhaled the smells; straw, hay, even the horse manure behind the huge building. Something else mingled, though. Something he could not put his finger on quite yet. Raising his muzzle into the air, it came to him: pungent oil and paint...
The air hung heavy with an ever-growing understanding that something major was happening and Thade was no part of it. He watched the hostler lead the horse along the straw-laden alley, deep into the belly of the stable.
"Tell me, Attar...," He started slowly. "what is going to happen to me?"
The gorilla started, turning abruptly to his comrade. "You are safe, sir. But, there have been changes."
"Safe from what?"
The Commander fished for the right words, his face, a puzzle.
"What is that I smell?"
Bombarded by his questions, Attar gestured they head for the Officer's quadrant, giving him a few hundred steps to think out just how to explain that everything pertaining to "The Legacy" had been wiped out.
Reaching the doors, Attar grabbed hold of the handle. "Sir, I..."
Thade shook his head rigidly. "C'mon! I think I get it by now."
He heard Attar groan softly as he pulled open the heavy wooden door...

*

'OhmyGod...'
Everything was gone.
Things depicting Semos and Thade's legacy had either been destroyed or painted over; removed from the walls. Turning slowly in a full circle, he gawked in silent remorse from beneath a heavy brow.
"I'm sorry, Sir." Attar consoled gently.
Perturbed greatly, Thade realized there was nothing he could do to reverse the situation. What had happened, happened, altering the future forever. Sadly, he recollected the tapestries, the statues in the likeness of he or his father, murals of the hunt painted on the walls; larger than life. Even the blood-red paint had been resurfaced.
"It was all destroyed." Attar disclosed, ascertaining Thade's sullen vexation of culture shock.
"Defeated again, my friend." Thade sighed. "I should have expected it."
That was not the reaction Attar expected. Something more on the line of a tantrum in full swing and dangerously out of control, was.

(let's say, page 40 because that's where I am on my ms.)

40

The young corporal stood about one-hundred feet from the entrance; swinging a ring of keys around like a six-shooter; watching it all, his gaze locked on Thade's self-restraint. Oh, there was definately something up. From all he could comprehend, this chimp was known to go ballistic at the least offense. For him to stand among a ruin and accept...?
Thade looked up suddenly. He saw Omri standing there.
Too far out of range for eye-to-eye focus, the young chimp dropped his gaze into the ring of keys going to the Generals' automatically, taking it in his thick fingers when he heard their voices steadily growing closer. Glancing up in a nonchalant manner; using the same demeanor as before, Omri saluted.
Commander Attar presented a grim smile. "To the General's quarters."
Staying a few-dozen paces ahead, Corporal Omri listened hard to their hushed conversation catching only the parts which rose passionately.
Pieces of; "I don't care", and "I don't know why I need to be here", floated into Omri's sensitive ears more than once.
'Let me alone with him', he begged. 'I'll bleed him'...
He picked up his step, arriving at the General's door several minutes before them and slipped the key into its housing. Questions posed. What happened? Where were you? Who influenced you? How? Why?
His teeth gnashed. Someone had to ask...! Why not him?
Not yet, though...

Corporal Omri snapped to attention as Thade and Attar approached, his eyes straight ahead...
"Your room has remained as you had left it, Sir..." And Omri turned the key, pushing the door wide.

Both the Corporal and Commander Attar weighed Thade's response as he peered into the room; apprehensive to enter as if discovering some ancient ruin...Fearful of disturbing the contents that once may have influenced the very essence of a king...
"If that will be all...?" Omri's words, though softly spoken startled Thade.
He spun defensively, jaw tight, his hands balled into fists.
"Y-esss..."
Their eyes locked and for a split-second a challenge erupted before Thade slid away submissively. He held no clout as alpha-male any longer.
'Where is your fire! Where is the LEGEND?!'
Something had devastated the general.
Witnessing their locking-of-horns, so-to-speak, Attar puffed his chest out as he stepped in to mediate.
"You are releaved, Corporal." He forced, separating the two with huge hands.
A look of empathy...
The latter; 'Do not pity me'...?
Just to keep them from tearing each other apart!
Omri pulled back. He looked at Thade as if he could read his thoughts before disappearing around the bend.

41

"I will repremand him." Attar swore.
"It's okay." Thade replied coolly. "He has questions."
His hand rested on Attar's arm reassuringly.
"Let us be sure they are answered..."

* * *

Perceptive of his friends' uncertainty, Attar ushered forth. The smell of leather, parchment paper, and whatever else that had been locked up in there wafted heavily up into their nostrils ... dank and musty.
Although the room had been closed up for several months, the odor was not offensive. Only reminiscent. Bringing back to mind the last days they had spent there; hatching plans, reading maps, or simply discussing life in general. It all lay in the smells.
Locating the oil lamp sitting among the, now, defunct Marshal Law documents, Attar struck a match.
As the light filled the room, Thade saw that it was exactly as he had left it, a mess. The only thing not covered with some form of clothing or such was the day-bed, which he rarely napped on, but had entertained a few tryst receptions with his "select" courtesans.
Shuffling in it looked extremely inviting even in its unwarmed state. With a groan, he lowered himself down onto the feather mattress; his pain evident. His thoughts wandered back to Phallen...
'What are you doing now?'
Throwing his arm over his eyes, Thade blocked out the light and Attar's adamant stare. He knew what the Commander was waiting to hear; all the details...
"What I am about to tell you cannot leave this room."
At last!, Thade was about to allow him in on his little secret!
The gorilla grabbed a chair and planted himself next to the bed. Thade peered dully from beneath his arm.
'Oh wonderful, he's far too eager...' The chimp dreaded.
"Whatever you tell me will never be repeated." Attar assured.
So unlike his boisterous self, Thade's voice was almost a whisper when he said, "My confidence in you has always been justified by your accomplishments."

42

Flexing his knee to rest it against the wall, pain shot up. He clenched his teeth in agony.
"I forget I am not the young ape I once was." He excused, guiding the injured limb, gingerly, to a rest.
Seeking, perhaps an escape, Thade did not find it in Attar's eyes. He had run out of excuses and had arrived to the task of disclosure. So, with a sigh, he began, slowly at first, recounting the battle they had experienced; keeping that part brief so as not to step on toes. The rest flowed as he told of his liberation from the tomb, yet, for the life of him, he could not explain how he had gotten to where he was -- in the care of the woodlander.
As his tale unfolded he never revealed that his savior was a human, leading Attar to believe that Thade had encountered an emphatic hermit-ape. And, according to his host, Thade had suffered from his injuries by way of seizures brought on by his unquenchable fever.
"I guess this...," and he revealed a scarring left bicep. "was the culprit."
Looking at it, himself, made his skin crawl.
"She saved my life, Attar."
Sincere candor shadowed the ex-General's already, sunken eyes, announcing how deeply this person had affected him.
"I cannot forget her."
Almost sobbing, his voice was thick with remorse from having left her; "She had crept into my very soul!"
He closed his eyes tightly behind his arm, trying to hide from his own weakness.
Watching his friend crumble, Attar felt himself reacting.
He wiped at his own eyes: "You should let her know."
"Think so?" Thade was almost laughing. He sounded as if he were on the edge of hysterics, abandoning any attempt at controlling his raging emotions, lest to break down and cry.
The commander studied his friend in bewilderment, saw the grave expression on Thade's face...
'OhmyGod! What have you done?!'
"She is HUMAN!"
Attar shot back in his chair, looking away before taking a double-take.
"Surly, you jest?!" He snorted, his mouth spreading from the caper Thade had laid on him.
The gleam in the General's eyes did not lie.
Attar's jaw dropped in disbelief. "You are serious!"
Silence befell them -- charged with nervous energy which left Thade feeling uncertain as to whether his confession had been such a good idea. Really, he felt no better from it. In fact, he felt worse now that he heard it ring in his own ears.
He felt ignorant.
No... confession was not good for the soul...
Not his, anyway.
In a quandary as for what to say, Attar could only suggest an alternative; "In your own best interest, you need to look forward to what has been restored to you. I advise you to let her go."
The Commander dropped his head, murmering, "Do not waste your time."
Waste his time?!
"She is no mere human,Attar!" Thade rebuked, his voice reaching a feverish pitch.
Puzzled black eyes stared back at him.
Thade realized he had attacked his friend unjustifiably.
"I don't mean to take this out on you, but before I told you of her species you were all for it. Now, it's like, "TABOO"! You know nothing about her! Do you think I-- even as I was -- I could possibly have compassion for filthy humans?!"
Slack-jawed, Attar shook his head.
"She is not...," and Thade glared at the wall. "...like "them."
The hulking figure in the chair peered at his insane friend from beneath his brow.
"Rest..." Attar prescribed, slowly rising from his chair, his mighty hand resting gently on Thade's chest. "We will talk more tomorrow."
Putting the chair back, he heard Thade say, "I am in love with her."
The gorilla jumped as if jolted by the door latch.
"Tomorrow..." He recapped, then slipped out, pulling the door locked behind him.
Stepping out into the empty corridor, Attar checked the lock then leaned exhaustedly against the wall slapping a hand to his face:
'This is a nightmare!' He thought.
*
Closing his eyes, Thade entered, almost immediately, into deep slumber.
Tomorrow was another day...

43

* * *



Phallen fell back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling.
What to do now?
Now that he was gone.
She had no idea just how strongly she had affected him, believing that it was all a misunderstanding -- allowing him to kiss her that way.
Obviously, his status reigned. Arriving to the conclusion that he need never see her again; that he did not need her services any longer, he released. And her own foolish thoughts: 'maybe he will come back for me'; soon faded.
Oh the fairy tale!
'They always had a happy ending'. She mused.
But it was highly unlikely in this case...

"I need to leave for a while..." Her last thought before sleep impeded.

***

He dreamed of her...

***

She slept, dreamlessly...


PART 2
"THE RETURNING"

The water reservoir, holding many thousands of gallons of rain, warmed as the suns traveled up through cloudless, blue skies. Thade awoke to the sounds of business-as-usual outside of his room.
He knew he was to go before the Counsel to answer to his guilt... and also to protect his innocence.
"Will I be able to re-establish myself?"
He sat up, swung his legs to the floor and stretched, yawning widely. Resting against the wall, he could still smell the oils on his skin and it reminded him that it was not a dream. She did exist.Bringing his hands to his face, Thade wondered if he would ever chance upon her again.
Did he dare?
That embrace! He could still feel it, sweet, innocent on his lips. Hell!, he could still feel her in his arms! And when he closed his eyes, he saw her, the fragile human he had fallen head-over-heels for.
"Will I never forget you?!" A frustrated cry declared.
Running his fingers through his hair, Thade bit his lip. He did not know her well enough to feel so strongly, let alone the fact she was human should have repelled him. Why, then did he carry such fervent feelings for her? In the back of his mind was the answer.
All she wanted was to see him well, pervious to the fact of what he was...
He was wanted "Home".
Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily, "Phallen..."

***

In the Highlands would clear her mind. All she needed was time.
"I gazed upon you far longer than you have upon I, and now, there is nothing."
She closed the door, leaving it all behind, and walked away...

****
She is leaving...!!!
Thade awoke in a cold sweat.
"WAIT!"
Sitting there, half asleep, Thade shuddered.
"I must find her."

44 - 47

***

Omri found nothing.
In his efforts to locate Thade's "Nirvana", it was one big jungle... Except for one tree. Upon further inspection it revealed itself and the young corporal stared at it.
"Amazing!" He exclaimed, walking its circumference -- his fingers trailing along the rough exterior. "It's at least a thousand feet around!"
Finding the door was a bit of a trick considering it was cut right from the side. It remained steadfast when he pushed against it. Pressing his ear to it there was nothing. So he knocked.
Not a sound. No one was there. Peering high into the thick branches a terrace was only visible if one really looked. He saw the floor and was stymied again by its sheer size.
"Absolutely spectacular! It has levels!"
Thade had met an unusual being this time. No wonder he was so heart-sick!
Climbing back on his horse, Corporal Omri took out a pad and pencil and scribbled the coordinates back to the tree hastily.
"Just between you and me, General," and he tucked the map away; "I believe you have met your match."
'It's too bad she has flown.'
It was also too bad that Commander Attar had sent him out to locate such a place, if it existed at all, and that he would have to report that it did. The good part was he did not have to say where.
A false map would send them in the opposite direction...

**

"I found the tree-abode but it was deserted." Omri announced, handing the bogus map over to his Commander.
Studying the scribbling, Attar bit at the lining of his cheek. "Very well. At least we know it was no an hallucination."
"Should I bring her back if I locate her?"
"No..." The gorilla shot immediately before dropping a stack of papers at the corner of his desk. "Thade does not need her in his life. Not now or ever."
Omri nodded lightly as his eyes wandered the room. 'Not much in here to inspire a warm heart, is there?' He thought, seeing how the decor, pretty much consisted of a one-sided belief which now lay in ruin.
He stood at attention.
"That is all, Corporal Omri." The bass-voice releaved. "Your furlough..."
"It was supposed to have started yesterday, sir."
"Your pass..." And he handed it over.
Omri's mouth fell open: RETURN FOR DUTY IN 24 HOURS.
Great...!

***

48


Slipping down the hall, Omri made his way to Thade's quarters. His eyes shifted uncomfortably up and down before rapping on the door. There was no reply.
"Sir, I need to speak to you." He said, pressing his mouth into the door jamb.
Still nothing. He pounded this time and the door flew open. The young chimp hastened in taking Thade by the arm as he went, closing the door quickly behind them. Wrenching free the General glared at him.
"What are you up to?" Thade demanded, eyeing him suspiciously.
'The bastard's come to kill me!'
Omri took a breath, then said it; "She has left, sir."
Their eyes narrowed on one another and the Corporal shifted nervously on his feet, prepared to dive out of harm's way if he had to.
"What are you talking about?" Came low and secretive.
"C'mon, I know what's going on." Omri felt a bit relieved when he saw a slight spark in Thade's eye. "I searched; located the tree, but..."
The elder chimp scowled deeply -- the creases Phallen had erased returning -- before he turned and hid his face. Intensifying by the second, his rage reddened his cheeks as he released a deep resentful growl.
"No one was there?"
"No, sir."
Thade hung his head nodding, walking further into the room as his hands clenched into fists.
"Is she really human?"
Leering back over his shoulder, Thade hissed, "It does not matter."
"Well, obviously it does! If it didn't you wouldn't be tied up in knots right now."
Omri crossed his arms, a smug look settling on his muzzle.
"Do you think it wise to pursue..."
Thade came around in a split second and slammed Omri up against the door. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT BE DOING!"
All fangs and nails, Thade glared up at the lanky chimp contemptuously.
"Shit! Just announce it to everyone I'm here!"
"What do you mean by that?!"
"If Commander Attar knew where I was right now I'd be court-martialed by sun set, that's what I mean!"
"He did not send you here?"
"No, sir, he did not."
Thade bit his lip... walked away.
Corporal Omri stretched his neck, turned his head to-and-fro before an audible popping sound occurred followed by a deep sigh of relief. Straightening his fatigue uniform, he came off the door and stood at ease in the entry. From that stand-point, to remain silent seemed the best cure for a volatile disposition such as Thades'.
His angel, the beautiful human had moved on leaving it all behind her. 'No...' Thade shook his head. 'You will not be mine...'
Her memory was all he had for solace. And as he shook with anger
thunder pealed. Omri stepped quietly into the main room. He knew how love ripped a heart apart. It was happening in front of him...
"You love her, don't you?"
Thade grinned. "Does it show?"
"Slightly." Omri jibed.
Their eyes met, only this time amicably; the young chimp looking back at him with cool attribution.
It appeared he understood.
"I will do what I can." He said.
"You would do that for me? Risk your future for me?"
Omri smiled easily; "Yes. She has touched you. I know you care. And even though you damned near put me through the door before opening it, I know you have changed."
Thade nodded admittedly.
"Just find her. Bring her back to me."
"What if she...doesn't want to?"
He could hear the whimper under Thade's deep sigh before he collected himself; shoulders back, chest out, head high...
"Let's not go there." He replied softly.
Pointing a finger at him, Omri winked. "Right... Stay positive."
Thade chuckled sadly. "Something like that."

49

Cracking the door, Thade peered up and down the hall before gesturing to Omri that the coast was clear. The wiley simian stole down the naked corridor then disappeared around the bend.
"I am so...!" Thade could not even finish saying it to himself.
'So timorous, Stupid! You're a coward! A submissive ass-kisser!'
His conscience was not afraid to say it.
'Alright already! I'm not that far gone! Maybe I'm waiting...'
Waiting... Their last goodbye...it wrenched at his heart. The last time he gazed upon her beautiful face, deeply into her eyes as they delved into his very soul. It had shaken him. Sent him running scared only to eventually snare him, paralyzing him emotionally in the end.
"you love her, don't you?"...Omri's words echoed.
He had seen Thade; how he carried himself, the way his shoulders slumped as if beaten down... Alone.
Oh, she was more than a possession for the former General. She was a life-line.
To be without her, Thade would soon be lost...

***

To stay...
To leave...
To be one with her again was all he yearned for.
"Will I never see you again?" He sought. "You would leave me here? Leave your home for the sake of my future?"
He held his head. "This is not where I want to be if she can- not be here with me."
Where were the answers? Why did he feel this way toward her while his simian females could not even evoke a stroke from his hand?
Passion...
Just to hear her voice. Take her up in his arms again...
It sent a shiver down his spine and he closed his eyes envisioning her...
He felt it all...

*

The letter he penned -- entrusting it to Corporal Omri -- read nothing like his true feelings. It was short and sweet and to the point:

My Dearest Phallen,
I have arrived in Derkein to discover everything which you had disclosed. It is in my most heartfelt hopes that this reaches your hands, for I have not been at peace since our parting therefor bringing me to the conclusion that you, above anything and everything, are most important in my life. I have given instructions to this Corporal to bring you back with him.
Though it has been many weeks since we parted you have haunted my thoughts.
Please, do not hesitate.
I await, though impatiently, for your arrival...

Yours,
Thadeus Paige,
General of the Derkien Army

***



******


50


And he waited, hoping with each passing day there would be some clue as to where she was.
The good Corporal searched, but he could not find Thade's elusive butterfly. And every evening, anticipating finality, Thade was left with only an oath of unceasing search. Receiving that with an unsettling confirmation, the ex-General slinked back into his room growing ever more withdrawn as each day ended like the last.
"Keep looking." Was all he said before closing the door -- allowing no one to enter.
She was all he needed.

*
The curtains were drawn. The only light came from a lone lamp, its wick set so low it threatened to flicker out. There were no shadows. Everything was still. Sounds from outside filtered through the open sash as he sat in the middle of his room, a glass of brandy in his hand -- holding onto her; the urge to break free growing stronger, lest to lose her even from his memory.
A poet at heart, he penned quite a bit in his seclusion. None of it really making sense when he read it, still, he placed it in a large book that rested at the top corner of his desk.
Sprawled across the top, pen in hand, Thade scribbled his thoughts before glancing around at all of the scattered papers from long ago. He snarled at them darkly. Then, with one sweep of his arm, sent it all sailing, a frustrated yell erupting in tow as he tore at the paper madly throwing it in a basket next to the desk. With not a care for his life or anyone elses at that point, he smashed the oil lamp into the papers sending up a huge fire-ball. The flames licked dangerously at the textiles draping the ceiling, threatening a rapid spread, perhaps throughout the whole quadrant.
He stepped back and watched, mesmerized by its sheer hunger to consume everything, a wicked smile pursed on his lips when, from nowhere, he was pulled back, stumbling and falling hard against an old trunk in the far corner of the room. Rubbing his sore head and focusing on the uproar, the flames were quickly extinguished producing a great billow of smoke that now choked the air from his lungs. Literally pulled from the room by his collar, Thade was safely dumped in the hall dazed and drunk. Opening his burning eyes several simian face leered down, some with concern while others in contempt.
"What in the hell were you thinking?!"
Omri twirled from the door, smoke rising from his body.
"Are you TRYING to kill yourself?"
Still stunned and lying close to the wall, Thade gave a dry cough before shaking his head, no.
Jutting his hand out, Corporal Omri said, "If you insist on hurting yourself I will have no choice than to have you put under arrest."
Thade broke into laughter at the absurdity, dismissing the helping hand and standing on his own.
"Oh you are a funny one aren't you, Corporal?" Thade mused.
No one else was laughing though. He realized they meant business and he had no rank to pull.
He dipped his head erasing the last of the giggles before coming back, thinking, 'you little shit, you! If you didn't remind me so much of myself at your age I'd tear you a new asshole!'
"You're lucky I came instead of Commander Attar. I volunteered to come and take you out of here for a while. What if HE would have?"
Thade felt a twinge of panic. He was losing it and felt helpless to prevent it. Shaking the fogginess from his brain, he grabbed onto reality with both hands, collecting himself.
"I appreciate your concern. I must have blacked out. I don't remember a thing."
Omri gave a slight signal with his hand and the troops dispersed in a low voiced huddle.

51

The young chimp stole looks up and down the corridor before pulling Thade in. "Sir...! You need to get a GRIP! They already think you've lost your mind and now you give them proof! How are you to ever regain your status with a record like that?"
"You have no idea what I am dealing with." Thade confided. "I believe I HAVE lost my mind."
"It is time to let her go. She is so long gone..."
"NO!" Thade cut. "I will not. She holds my heart, Corporal. She gives me strength."
"What did she ever say to make you think she cared? "
"She said I was beautiful." And he smiled.
Omri released a sigh as he nodded. "So is that all it takes to calm "the savage beast"?"
Grinning objectively, Thade shook his head with a chuckle. "Beauty lies in the eyes if the beholder."
Best to keep his mouth shut, Omri hum-hawed around the retort half-shrugging as he went toward the General's door.
"Well all I can say is I only found her tree-abode..."
Thade reached out for the wall, stunned.
"She was not there?"
Omri looked at him. The General was pale and apparently on the verge of collapse.
"I didn't say that."
"What are you saying, then?"
Omri fought for restitution before looking back at Thade.
"Yes, that IS what I'm saying, General. She was nowhere. There was nothing there!"
Thade spun away and ran for the exit not caring anymore what anyone thought of or did to him.

***

There, in the stable, Thade's steed waited. Recognizing her owner even though it had been many months since he had ridden her, the mare began kicking up straw, bumping up against the stall, and whinnying; letting it be known how she had missed him.
Grabbing the bridle from its hook as he went, Thade came to the animal's stall speaking softly as he ran his thick fingers through her mane. "We meet again." His voice whispered soft and low.
Entering the stable, he threw a blanket across her back smoothing it before saddling her, all the while anticipating reunification. If he did not tell Phallen now, he felt he would lose her forever.
Placing his toe in the stirrup, Thade hoisted himself upon the mare's back nudging her forward out of the stall to allow her full lead down the straw-laden alley at a steady gait, grazing a startled guard when they broke into the court-yard.
Patrolling the compound, Attar heard the startled yowl and spun on his heel narrowing his gaze on the stable house seeing the dark figure as it charged forth. Without his blazing armor of superiority, Thade looked like "the neighbor".
"STOP...!"
"WAIT...!"
They were simultaneous.
Meeting in the middle; from separate corners, Corporal Omri was soon rushing along with Commander Attar, each in an individual pursuit for totally different reasons.


52

"STOP...!" Commander Attar shouted, rushing the horse, sending it rearing in alarm.
Thade held fast riding out the sudden burst, bringing the animal swiftly under control. Realizing who it was, Attar grabbed the horses bridle.
"You cannot leave the compound. I have not released to the Council your return."
The chimp leaned from the saddle, his face a hideous mask of emotion. "I must go." Rattled from his throat.
With those words Thade heeled his horse sharply send her bolting for the compound gates.
Upon seeing horse and rider rushing in their direction, the sentries scrambled for the heavy wooden doors, throwing their backs into getting them open, doing so just in time as he flew past slipping narrowly through before the sentries had them full opened.
Breaking out into the city, at first glance, he was not recognized. The physical influence he once possessed was all but tapped out -- having been so close to death. It had taken its toll leaving him thin and gaunt.
Not until someone realized just who he was, Thade could have made it through the city and out the other side without a hitch, but he had been spotted. They eyed him thoughtfully, watching him as he passed before shouting; "The General has RETURNED!"
All movement in the area froze. Heads turned, gawked, squinted in the sun to see him. It only took one yowl of approval to start an expanding display of public reception...
Their fearless General had returned.
Clapping and calls of welcome were relayed along with hoots and whistles. A rush of emotion flooded over Thade as he eyed the crowd, his expression changing from confusion to elation when he realized that he was still revered as a great leader. No one had forgotten nor forsook him.
"Welcome back!" Their voices sang as they came from their shops and homes, extending their hands to his, stroking the horse he sat upon.
Thade grinned sardonically seeing that he still held them in his power. With this knowledge, he smiled; it would not be long before Phallen was there with him.
Approaching hoof beats awoke him from his deliriously satisfying day-dream. Peering over his shoulder he saw Attar and about twenty of his soldiers riding hard to rescue Thade from the angry mob. He smiled slyly back at them when he felt a hand rest on his thigh. Reaching down, Thade turned slowly to them. A deep purr rose from his chest as he took their hand gently in his.
"Josee..." He uttered softly.
His personal courtesan; looking lovely in green brocade, her head covered with beaded braid -- stood next to him.
"Welcome back."
Her voice was low and sultry as her ringed fingers ran up his thigh. Sensations rippled down Thade's spine at her touch. Tipping his head, he smiled capriciously, knowing she would always be there.

53

He pulled away feeling himself beginning to respond. It would have been easy to pull her up and race off to some secluded place as he had done in the past. Things were different now.
"No, Josee." He rejected gently.
There was a new consciousness about him now.To do anything that would give Phallen the benefit of a doubt of his true intentions was out of the question.
Thade shook his head sadly to Josee, letting her know her services were no longer needed.
"You know where to find me." And she slipped from his fingers.
'I am never where I want to be!' He thought, gingerly guiding the mare through the crowd and away from the soldiers making their way through the crowd, all the while nodding with appreciation and wearing a wan smile.
He had lost interest in the whole fanfare. It was keeping him from his "pet". Serpentining through the mass, Thade found an opening and dashed for the gates of the city, yearning to return to Phallen; to feel safe again. To reveal the truth -- his love for her...
There was no time to open the gates as he raced, Godspeed, into them, the mare seeming to fly as she sailed over the top...

***

In the forest horse and rider had become one, flying the path as a bee to the hive...

***

The news spread like wildfire: Genral Thade had returned from the grave. The reports of his sightings rang through the Senate House sending the Council into a frenzy -- rushing to eachother's homes; first, one then the next until they had congregated after a half-dozen or so, all of them in a tizzy as they bustled to the State House to incorporate an emergency hearing.
Receiving the summons was no surprise to Attar. What-with that big exhibition Thade had presented there was no wonder this was to come. Taking the summons from the purser Attar smirked.
"The little bastard."
Now he had to think. Disclosing how long Thade had been back, well that could be condensed. Describing a change in attitude? Piece of cake. Explaining how he had run off in pursuit of a human?
Attar shook his head. He had a headache. Better to keep his mouth shut and see if that one surfaced. He was hoping, maybe, it would not...

*


The court-room was filling fast as the citizens crammed the public seating section, intrigued by the sudden appearance of their own, once revered, leader. The doors swung open again and again and the hall filled to standing-room-only capacity.
Flanked by their own soldiers, Commander Attar and Corporal Omri stood before the bench when the announcement for all to rise rang from the bailiff. It was as if on cue the two officers tugged at their tightening collars, watching as the Coucil filed into the court-room, their black robes neatly pressed and pristine flowed about sandaled feet until lifted briefly to ascend to the dais. Shuffling past the chairs of their peers each superior settled into thier own, glancing furtively out on the two nervous soldiers.

54

With the fall of the gavel, Senator Lantres announced, This hearing is now in session."
And as Council took their seats so did the citizens.
Perching a tiny pair of spectacles atop his simian nose, Lantres thumbed through the papers lying before him, stroking his beard incessantly as he came across some of the MORE interesting aspects listed therein.
"It has been brought our attention that Thade has returned." Senator Nado began, his great jowls jiggling with every word. "But it seems we have been the last to know. Can you explain how this may have slipped past you, Commander Attar?"
Council heads swung in unison to the commander and corporal, scrutinizing them presumptuously while the two fought to remain cool and collected.
"Commander Attar...?" Sandar summoned.
The gorilla snapped to attention, trembling in his guts; praying the question about to be posed did not involve that human.
"It happened so suddenly. He was weak. He needed rest."
"And so to inform us slipped your mind?"




"Has HE lost his mind?" Nado pressed.
Lantres peered over the top of his glasses at the orangutan.
"Have you? What sort of question is that?!"
Puffing his chest out, Nado defended himself; "The kind that needs answered!"
"Indeed, you have no idea what ..."
Sandar's face turned a deep scarlet as he intercepted: "This is bullshit! We are not here to debate amonst ourselves! Save it for the library, gentleapes!"
His angry gaze jutted out to the "audience", he felt.
Humbly, Nado added softly, "We cannot have him going off half-cocked. It could endanger the city and all who live here."
Lantres sighed deeply, stifling his inundation.
With a much gentler approach, Lantres petitioned; "Is it true Thade has returned?"
Young Omri peered from under his thick brow. "Yessir."
"And will you describe his disposition? That is, in regard to how he WAS?"
One could almost hear a pin drop. Omri nodded, then, a curt smile skidded across his lips. " He is quiet within, sir."
Surreptitiuosly, Corporal Omri made eye contact with his Commander...
'Shut up, now! Shut up. Shut up'!
Attar closed his eyes from the stare, praying for a miracle.
"Can you be a bit more specific?" Nado pried, tipping his head inquisitively.
Attar awoke from his fantsay...
"He has found peace."
Nado leaned forward, his chin resting atop the mahogany desk.
In his droll, lathargic way, Nado charged; "It is rumored that Thade was released and treated by a "Human"." accentuating on the last word with an air of unpleasant disclosure.
The courtroom was abuzz.
'The General...? Most prestigious in upholding a pure culture... fraternizing with the very species he loathed?!
PREPOSTEROUS...'
Senator Sandar's face grew harried before diving into his hands in despair, massaging his temples.
'Could this get any worse?' rambled in his mind as he shook his sore head.
His daughter, Ari, had been betrothed to this "one"! Choking back the tears, Sandar knew: The engagement had ended long ago.
Still, maybe their differences could be worked out...
Attar and Omri looked to one another. It was time to speak out...
Carefully selecting his words, Attar took the lead...
"Indeed, he was freed by a human. His disposition, upon returning, has revealed a change. So, I cannot say it did not evolve from inter-species communication."
Sandar leaned forward, clearly distressed by the news...
"Where is Thade NOW?"

(55 thru 58)

"I do not know, sir."
Just then. the doors swung open. All heads turned to see Thade as he entered. He paid no attention to the ogling crowd as their eyes followed him down the aisle. Upon reaching the bench Thade bowed tersely in respect.
It was quite obvious to the Council that he had, indeed, changed! He did not concern himself with the conflict about to arise, even though it was that which was about to convict him...
He held himself proudly.
"Forgive my latness." He implored humbly.



58

Senator Sandar shook his head. This was a sad day to him. His brow wrinkled in despair as he looked, sympathetically, for some support from his colleagues, but they all carried their own seperate crosses.
"What are we to do with you, Thade?" Sandar asked.
The ex-General held his own when Omri went to speak for him; signaling with his hand for silence. "I am fine." He assured.
With a hint-of-a-smile Thade took a stand, the boldness still gleaming in his eyes as they locked on the Council. Bring it on, boys, he dared, unruffled by the damning outcome. There was nothing else they could bring that he had not already seen, done, or been through.
"You already killed me..." Thade retorted, scratching at his chin in mock-thought. "Perhaps you could admit your errors."
"Our WHAT?" Boomed.
The whole room buzzed with excitement. There was going to be a fight. The gavel banged for order and the guards stepped in one pace to correct any discrepencies. Stealthily, Thade observed his surroundings. This could get ugly. I could make it so.
"To send this into total bedlam will only take a few minutes, Sirs. Tell me, where shall I begin? With Senator Nado? We all know how he left his wife for the young, beautiful..."
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Sandar exclaimed coming up out of his chair.
Thade waved for him to sit. "Now now, let's not get our robes wrinkled, FINE gentleapes. We ALL have faults."
The look on their faces was worth a thousand words and Thade revelled in it. He knew he was in contempt, but what-the-hell, what did he have to lose that he had not already?
"I will be the first to admit it!" He proclaimed, baring his soul for all to see. "Is it not true how we had all fallen to a false God? HE DOES NOT EXIST!"
"You are IN contempt!"
"Good. At least now you admit it"
His eyes scanned the the court room passively. All which had pertained to his legacy had been stripped away from there, too, leaving bare walls and half-finished murals of nature; depicting peaceful forestry and calm blue lakes...
Blue lakes...
He recalled the paintings on the walls in Phallen's tree-abode...
With a low, saddened tone, the chimp admitted, "I am a vulgar ape, but my passion for truth is not. And in my absence, I must admit I had no intention of returning until..."
All noises ceased as they hung on his last word.
Lantres smiled warmly at Thade, leaning forward in a dreamy way, totally absorbed by the chimp's passion. "Until what?"
The gentle query floated across the room.
Thade felt the heat in his cheeks when their eyes met.
"Until she told me to."
"Who is SHE? That HUMAN?" Nado charged bitterly. "A savage of the forbidden zone? Their skin not worth their weight in GOLD?! This bad-marsh (medieval: tyrant, despot) has rotted you."
A disturbing shiver ran down Thade's spine. His face grew dark as he took pensive steps toward the bench. "I MUST disagree." He said all-too-calmly.
The whole thing was beginning to take its toll on him. He was feeling bad and it was starting to show.

59

"She has stirred in me an emotion I have not felt for so long."
"You speak as if you are in love with her." Nado jabbed.
Thade heard himself say: "I am..." and he smiled intrepidly.
Try me now...
The silence was like the approach of a storm -- all still and silent, a whistle of wind followed by distant thunder, black clouds in the distance, rolling ever closer in its break...
'He's in love with a human...?!'
Thade glanced, nonchalantly, over his shoulder at the buzz. He did not give a shit and it showed on his face when he turned back.
"So, now what...?" He challenged.
Crossing his arms, he waited. "Are you going to arrest me? Are you going to court-martial me? KILL ME?"
Staring in disbelief, Sandar uttered, "oh, Thade, what have you done?"
He had known the General for years.
"You are walking such a thin line."
"Surly, you have taken into consideration, your future?" Nado injected sharply, noticing how upset Sandar had become.

60

Thade let go with a smirk. "FUTURE?" He cried. "I HAD no FUTURE!"
He turned resentfully. "I was left to die."
Stabbing over his shoulder, he finished sharply, "THAT was my future."
All, except Lantres, hid their eyes. The sagacious Senator heard the sincerity in his "Godson's" voice. He rested his chin in his hands, focusing on his peers with unforgiveable shrewdness.
"You have taken away everything."
Thade sighed heavily. "Perhaps you wanted me dead... Maybe to have left me that way would have been better."
From the youngest on the bench, Senator Yahn spoke; "Why?"
Thade slapped his thigh giddily, though it hurt him so.
"Oh perhaps to carry on in one's blind way to a desolate future..." Thade surmised with cynical reprise.
He surveyed his company cooly, taking over the rebelling spirit within; "She sent me back. She knew what was to come and now I defend it! Damn her and you damn me!"




"You were damned from the day you were born." Nado condemned.
Sandar reached out and clutched the orang's arm, casting a warning glance as he shook his head.
"Oh, don't shush me. You know this is bullshit."
Nado pulled away casting a scowl on his neighbor. He leaned forward boldly blurting, "In time you will get over this infatuation."
Thade froze.
Infatuation?
His expression went from confusion to complete understanding.
"You don't know anything." He calmly replied.
Nado scoffed. "Maybe it's you who doesn't."
Sandar fumbled for words when he saw Thade slowly begin to walk away. "You know this is impossible. It is preposterous for you to even entertain such an idea."
"I know, but I can't help it."
He threw his arms up surrendering; not to them, but to the true feelings he held for Phallen. "I don't need this anymore."
Turning,Thade saw the emphatic expressions both Attar and Omri wore. He smiled wanly placing his hands on their shoulders as he passed between them.
"I'm sorry..."
"Have you found this unusual being?"
Lantres' voice passed him and Thade spun. "No."
"When you do, please, introduce us." Lantres requested.
"I-I will."
Thade was out the door...

*

61

He was psyched and ready to roll. Lantres had opened a door for him with that comment and he was going to step through in all of his blazing glory. It scared the others, though. They knew this -- Phallen had gotten under his skin with trickery; they were sure, but to convince HIM that she had was not going to be easy. She was a part of him now...
"I will find you,my beloved. And we will be together."

II

Glaring over at Lantres, Nado declared, "You have lost your mind."
The Senator grinned at the remark as he watched his Godson disappeare through the doors. "No," he said lightly before turning to his friend, "just delighted that he has found someone worth caring about."

*

Slipping his foot into the stirrup, he heard the distant rumble of thunder. It fed his desire to break free from the city and from "their" condemnation. Only Lantres rang through and Thade knew that at that very moment he was being chastised for being honest in his petition for a meeting. The ex-General could not tell himself that it was unfair. In his field there were no second chances for redemption... except in his case. He was the only one strong enough to hold the enemy at bay. His strength alone was one to be reckoned with. He just happened to trust the wrong constituents at the wrong time, that was all...
Was it...?
'They turned their backs on you and you know it!'
Thade tasted the bitterness as it rose up into his mouth.
It was more resentment than desire that pushed him to the outside. There was only one for him and she was nowhere to be found.
Falling into his hands, Thade screeched. He wanted out and now!
The Senator's last words echoed in his head: "When you find her, please, introduce us"...
Lantres was family -- knowing Thade's father, and cared as much as the chimp's own father had. The sagacious Councilor had nothing to do with what had transpired in the past. In fact, he had been forwarned by Thade's father of the General's fall; to protect him from its repercussions;
"Weave him a net, for he WILL fall. Please be there for him. PLEASE, take care of my only son..."

"I am so tired." Thade said.
From his side, he heard, "You must rest..."
In a blur, he was escorted back to the compound...



As the last of the citizens filed out, the doors were locked behind them. Mingling in the crowd were the many airs declared; opinions of pro and con; If she would have never interfered, Thade would have come home - via - the rescue team; while the right-wingers stated that if it had not been for her, the General would have succombed to thirst and hunger along with the injuries sustained.
There was no closure no matter what they said or argued over.
What was done, was done. Period.
Oh how Sandar longed for Thade and Ari to be in love as they once were. But there was nothing there. He did not love her nor did she, he. Thade was in love with Phallen; a "wood-Sprite", an "elf", and, since she seemingly ceased to exist: a "Specter"! To have vanished so quickly, there was no other explanation.
He needed to forget her -- to return to his awaiting empire...
Convincing him that it was in his best interest was not going to be easy...
He loved her...

III

62-64

...Racing through the forest, anticipating how he was going to approach her, Thade knew he was going against everything he had learned. Still, the very effigy he desired -- which he normally hunted -- hid among the tall timbers.
Eerie stillness greeted him when he alit from the mare's back at the very tree he was resurrected from.
No one answered.
The door remained steadfast.
Only the wind as it whistled knew he was there.
He was too late. She was gone.
He began to hyperventilate; the sense of loss hitting full force, creating a fury of sheer emotional turmoil.
"N-n-o-o!!!"...
His fist hit the door in one massive blow springing it open to rattle on its hinges, crashing against the wall, reverberating through the rooms an empty response.
Raising his muzzle into the air, a fading scent descended.
"It IS real!" He declared stepping in.
It was all as he had remembered. One thing was missing: "Phallen?"
He bared a vicious snarl as a snort of disgust released. It was his own fault; his own pontificating belief she would be there!
Before he could think, his fist thrust through the door, splintering it in his rage.
"Oh shit..." cursed under his breath when he realized what he had done.





He could not hide the pain any longer. He had never encountered anyone as unselfish as she; to give to him --life.
Having hidden his feelings for her only to find it to be too late to convey them killed him.
'I am so stupid!'
How could she just "GO"?
"Phallen..." He moaned, losing himself in the past.
Was this really happening? How could he have been so taken by her?
As if scanning a book for reference Thade's eyes darted to the ground.
"What has she done to me!"
His pondering, evoking the memory, left him hollow...
A void...
A cut so deep in his soul only she could heal it...
"I thought you set me free..." Softly spoke.
To fall with reckless abandon... to lose himself in his wildest dreams... his passion... into her arms... safe again...
She walked in his dreams, haunted him in his wake, her voice whispering in his ear...
Thade clutched his head, begged for closure.
"Let it be so...!"
'She promised to let go! She said I was alright and I was beautiful! She never said I would love her!' His memory badgered.
Searching for solace, his tear strained eyes fell upon a footstep in the soft ground. In one wide stride he crouched over it running a long digit over it before gathering the soil in his hand. Smelling it, he let it sift through his fingers as he stared out in the direction they took...
"I know now..." Eked...








... Sitting up from a dead sleep, he looked around, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.
Staring into the shadows a feeling of isolation crept over him sending a shiver down his spine. His quest was turning into a nightmare -- haunting his thoughts. It was a short click to madness.
He already tried to burn it out. What next, CUT it out? 'There's an option for ya. That would solve everything. At least for you, you selfish bastard.'
His conscience had a way of working on him though he never showed it. He grew deaf to its wisdom after a time -- creating the "General" everyone feared yet admired.
He had power...

Had... It had a magic to it when he stopped and thought about it.
'You're listening now, aren't you? You were the Alpha and the Omega once.' His conscience chided.
There was nothing left. Everything he had strived for and succeeded in had been over-turned. Even Corporal Omri held more jurisdiction.
Burying his face in his hands, Thade knew it had all been lost forever...

65-66

IIII

Burning the "Midnight Oil", the Council huddled in the library -- sharing a drink, along with their views on the episode that had unfolded, hours ago. Leather-backed law books laid open -- several volumes thick -- each one turned to a section delaring the ban of inter-species relations -- dating back even before Thade's father.
The ink -- so faded, took a magnifying glass just to read, and one laid atop the volumes, for they had gone over the sections over and over -- in a fever to find closure for their General.
They all ended with the same sad conclusion: "Kill the enemy"...
Thade would have to give up one or the other...Period.

67

The most recent encryptions penned in the books were by Thade's father, Kalib (Kah-leeb)-- scribbled within as if in haste or anger. He had his moments now and then and by the way the quill seemed to have dug into the parchment, it was turmoil.
They had faded considerably in the past forty-some years...
Raising his glass to pugh nostrils, Nado sniffed the brandy's woody aroma...
"It is not wise to encourage him." He addressed.
With his own glass in hand, Lantres waved him off, rebutting, "Thade is not unlike his father was at his age. And you must take into consideration that he IS growing older -- no longer an apprentice, but a full fledged leader."
The Councilor leaned for his pipe and tobacco. "And